loving

So many days i spent out with everyone trying to catch up with each other life and pushing the relationships up another level, i didnt realise that my heart went faster than my mind. Just now whn i started listening to imeem and doing my work, i realised that i hvnt been catching up with myself.
My little life went so fast that my mind couldnt catch anything and sort out the thoughts & emotions to move on. For the first time, my emotions doesnt affect my brain. While typing/editing the microb post, i started crying but my hands wouldnt stop typing even when my vision was blurred.
I realised i have been so affected by the shit that mum is doing at home which in turns affect my relationship with ppl and everything goes down spiral. At the end of the day, i got so drained by all these emotions crap and the thoughts that im not doing well that i just cant be bothered to put my thoughts in order, call someone and cry it out. I rather blog them out not in any order or not understandable.

I guess im one of the girls who is really good at pretending. When im sick & dying, i will still apply makeup to look as if im healthy and i will hold the headaches & nausea till i crash. When im down & out, i still smile joke or crap as if my life is always smooth sailing.

I'm sorry if i've been very crazy or cranky or nonsensical recently, give me some time alright (: Dont expect me to be ur asian chinese girl, let me just say whatever i like. I dont like asian culture of being conservative with our speech.
And and im very sorry boys/guys if i've been very mean/annoying/irritating to any of you (though i knw not many read my blog), i will start replying on msn and no more one word answers or princess tantrums.

Okay, i did my daily ranting. Blogging is good for health.
The princess says goodnight to all of you <3