happy barbie dolls

I've decide that frm today onwards, it's going to be daily happenings ONLY.
Last time im going to blog about how messed-up and all i actually am.
I think it's damn scary how people perceived that i live up to everything i write here and they take a hold of me. I dont i dont. Sometimes i blog and trash everything out here because i need to let off some steam to continue doing my work. Or sometimes i dont blog the full story.
And im no longer secure to tell anyone that im not okay, im all messed up and i cry myself to sleep sometimes because im too overwhelmed. I'm so so so extremely scare that i will appear to be a loser to anyone who is reading this, im this insecure.

So this is the LAST TIME im ever to say what i feel here.
I'm going to discipline myself.

I'm going to skip alot of dinners for the next few weeks at.
If i dont start work 2 hrs after i reach home, im going to skip dinner the next day if im not going out. I need to teach myself a lesson.